I’ve done all the dumb things
And I get all your good advice
It doesn’t stop me from going through these things twice”Paul Kelly, “Dumb Things”
What is it about some people that makes them do dumb things? I mean, some of the stories that come up in the media about dumb people are amazing...then some of them have the gall to try suing to cover for their dumbness. As long as you’re not the person doing the dumb things it’s easy to be righteous and scoff, but the reality is that we all do dumb things, and the world of triathlons – and sports – is not immune from brain-fades. Being fatigued is not necessarily an excuse for some of these dumb things...
Fashion
What better place to start than an area open to so much personal interpretation and opinion. Oh my god!! I’ll start all the way back in the 80’s where triathletes could not wear enough different colours on the same outfit. Not just any outfit, but a lycra outfit...what were we thinking?? I remember my own pride after buying a unique piece from the well known “Fancy Pants” range – how proud was I? You could spot a triathlete from 100m just by their clothes (in fact, you still can...). This was also the era where blokes racing in budgie smugglers became standard...that is an image to scar your retina for ever...not to mention in combination with the old Oakley Factory Pilot glasses, which had more in common with ski goggles than sunnies...
Fast forward to current day and you could hardly say that triathlon is much better, just evolved. Triathletes have made the one-piece lycra suit, with pockets, a sun visor and fuel belt standard sports issue...but you could fairly say that the once conservative cycling fraternity has taken over in the range of colours on garments.
It should also be noted that triathletes provide living example of the placebo effect...commonly known as compression socks. Let’s just acknowledge that fitting into the triathlon world means doing dumb fashion things...
Over Training
More is better. Go hard or go home. Miles make champions. A bit is good...more is better. HTFU.
Each of those are very valid and good training principles...except when they’re in the hands of a triathlete who often see them as validation to train more...and more. Why wouldn’t you think like that, after all, there’s three sports to train for so why not just add together the training from each sport and dedicate yourself to being a training machine...just be careful not to do any races so you won’t interrupt your training and the weekly training numbers...x kms and y hours. Surely this is the way to succeed...
...except that it isn’t, and brings down countless triathletes each year into a pit of over trained fatigue. Over training is not just a dumb mistake, it is a dangerous one, also, for your body and mind. Some people get out of it lightly and relatively un-scathed, but others are like watching a train about to crash and being powerless to do anything about stopping it. Give over training a miss...it’s a dumb thing you’re best to learn about from others, not yourself.
Sunburn
Triathlon is a summer, outdoor sport, which means the sun is shining for many hours that you’re out and about training. While there seems to be a trend in society towards low vitamin D levels, triathletes would seem to have an abundance given the time they spend in the sun...which usually also means sunburn, an avoidable performance inhibitor...that hurts, too. How many times have you seen the typical triathlon sunburn mark on the back of someone post-race...ouch!! No amount of aloe vera can dull the pain and mark of sunburn, not just after races but during training. Sunburn is damaging but also preventable, so it gains an entry into the book of dumb things.
Equipment
Triathlons generally attracts a good demographic from society – high-achieving and generally above average wage-earners...which also means they’re quick to buy the latest bit of equipment. As a group, triathletes are early adopters which has been great for the component industry since they’ll always sell their products to un-suspecting test market with the promise of magical improvement. Over time some of the products evolve to being mainstream, like aero bars...but how dumb did the early adopters look with their bull-horn like Scott DH aero bars?? There’s been other equipment that hasn’t made it to mass-market status, like running shoe platform pedals, soft-ride bikes, and others, which didn’t stop many athletes from putting their faith – and hope – in them. Maybe not such dumb products, but dumb hope in them.
Ironman Pacing
Put your hand up if you’ve made this mistake...of going too hard too early in an IM, especially the ride, and being reduced to a shuffling, mumbling mess during the run? This one never fails to catch the over confident triathletes at a time when they’re at peak fitness and ready to conquer the world...except they neglected to take in account the reality of the situation and their abilities. Boom...crash. Sure as night follows day and the glow sticks come out, dozens of athletes in every IM ever held have fallen prey to this dumb mistake, especially when it is completely in their control. To borrow a popular phrase...epic fail!!!
Here’s some other dumb things to extend the list further, like...ignoring injury, spending too much time / money, taking triathlons too seriously, training with the wrong people, travelling to races with the wrong people, wrong / no nutrition, yada, yada, yada...
Suffice to say, these are just a few of the dumb things triathletes do, without fail, every year. Even the spread and sharing of experience amongst the triathlon community doesn’t help, just as Paul Kelly sang in his song...“And I get all your good advice // It doesn’t stop me from going through these things twice”. Dumb things serve to give others some entertainment, and hopefully a lesson of wisdom and experience to avoid next time.
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